Listening

presence. being. here. one. thing. at. a. time. can. you. hear. it???

ooooohhhhh

little teacher, being-teaching

Thelwall on Nationalism (1794)

“The first [supposed virtue] I shall hold out to your observation is Nationality. A certain indigenous set of romance writers called English Historians, having, time after time, told you very pompous stories of Frenchmen cut into fritters by English valour, of mountains of Spaniards looked to death by the terrors of the British eye, you are taught, by these fine stories, to contract an affection and veneration for the exploits of these glorious proficients in the science of human butchery, and hence you are taught to consider, of course, that as the persons who tell all these great exploits bore the name of Englishmen, you ought to love the character of Englishmen better than any other, and to hold all other beings in contempt: without enquiring whether they do not possess the same powers of mind, nay, whether the romance writers of other countries, that is to say, their historians, have not, in return, made those Spaniards and Frenchmen cut myriads of English Dogs into fritters in the same miraculous manner. In short, you are to love Englishmen because they are descended from Englishmen who, as you are told, murdered the natives of France in inconceivable numbers, and you are to hate all Frenchmen (run away emigrants now excepted) because they are descended from the Frenchmen so murdered. Hence, Citizens, the perpetual animosity between nation and nation. What! – am I who are descended from Britons who have so frequently scourged those dogs of France – am I to suffer a Frenchman to consider himself my equal? Shall I, who pretend to be so proud of liberty, suffer a Frenchman to think of liberty for himself? – No, it is an insult to the sacred records of British history; and, remembering the cut-throat virtues of my ancestors, I must be sure to carry on the same trade of cutting throats in my time also.”

- John Thelwall, The Tribune (1794)

Turn 5 years old in your time

Turn 5 years old in your time today but time not important. Right now life is good for dog. Sun makes me warm and breeze keeps nose cool. Ate bread this morning. ARoOoo! A bird must chase. Always gets away but still fun. Tonight get sleep on soft bed. Am happy.

In the sun

Grandma's Birthday

More happiness @ Woodside

Si vede che assomiglia alla mamma, no? Sara' il naso, lo sguardo misterioso e impenetrabile, quella voglia di scappare dai guinzagli...

Al padre invece... mmm... si', mangiano tutti e due il pollo - preferibilmente arrosto e biologico.

California visit

First stop, of course. This is called happiness.

Second stop, settling in @ Maiko's. This is called best hostess in the world.

Out for drinks and feeling the love

Three troublemakers

Estela and I

Tae and Justin

Playing @ Woodside, Ammy's favorite sniffing grounds

Tracking squirrels

Looking beautiful at the B & B

After-breakfast lounging, before a round of shopping

Spa time in Santa Cruz. Very Zen.

Santa Rosa, Howarth Park. One of my favorite places in the world.

Howarth Park with some friends.

Shoreline park, my other favorite place in the world.

Gratitude

Ammy lovey my angel, cause you make my heart smile. Ammy Daddy, for more reasons than I can list. Mom, for always being there, without conditions. Dad, for teaching me vision and lighting the fire under my ass. Cris, cause you’re my red and I’m your gold. Dylan, cause you’re her sunshine. Lucas, for being our love teacher. Adrian, because you rock my tootles. Dodo’, for getting on this crazy ride with us and sticking it out. Amber, for teaching me about catness, meow, hiss, purr. Stefania, for being there these 18 years, god knows what I put you through, and still here for me now. Anna, for your no-nonsense, practical cool. Anthony, little Anthony, Marco, Pierina, Marco, Piermarco, more family than most. Unuasu, per motivi che sai solo tu (e ogni parola e’ un eufemismo). Augusta, perche’ la porta di casa era sempre aperta. Giovanni, per le lunghe chiacchierate a mezzanotte. Cristina, Nannino, Francesca, Sebastiano, con tanto affetto. Maiko, for always being there with listening and patience. Malaika, for kicking me in the ass when I needed it, and helping me kick ass through it all. Patricia, soul sister and keeper of secrets, and for that delicious shepherd in your mud hall. Regina, for goodness of heart and for being real. Heather, for ass-kicking practical wisdom. Tanya, for Gaia-love and wanderlust. Estela, for goodness and sweetness. Ali, for goodness and elegance all in one place. Gina, for showing how it's done. Mark, teacher beyond the sum of words and gestures. Francesca, for your practical wisdom and being my cheerleader so many years. Roberto, Lorenzo, Riccardo, Alice you sweetness, Ferdinando chi va piano va lontano ;) Rita, per l’affetto di tanti anni e tutto quello che mi hai insegnato. Maria Grazia, modello di vita e liberta’. Christian, occhi belli e cuore grande, che mi fai compagnia quando tutti dormono. TJ, for the ducks at Shoreline park, whose beauty you know well. Tae, for being real with me, and for being there. The news team, cause god i love you guys. Nonna, for teaching me about form so I could rebel against it, and for holding me dear. Nonno, because I know you were there. Gigi, Angela, Roberta, Simone, my other family, love you. Pierpaolo, Linda, Giomaria, Francesco, Valeria, bless you. Gianfranco, Eletta, Claudia, Laura, bless you. Grandpa, for always saying ‘bless you, love you.’ Grandma, for paving the etheric way. A Kathie, U Walt and families. Mr L, Mrs L, Minti, Minka, Baron lovey, other family, for your open arms and generosity. Krimo, for your wisdom and big heart. Anca, for your trust in the universe. Alanna, for walking the talk. Stuart, for patience and suspension of disbelief. Raffaele, per la simpatia. Ian, for some amazing moments, and because you know Intent. Tal, cause wow. Jalal, sweetness, namaste. Jeffrey, for your spacious heart. Allan, for showing me what’s authentic. Joe, for holding the space for Poco, cause she loves that you do that. Christine, cause we’re kicking ass. Maggie, Bill, Ellen, Curt for the gifts you gave me just when I needed them. Julia, Sandy, Sky, Dr. Pigott, Reta, Linda, David, Gayla, for all the teachings and healings. All my teachers, especially the tough ones. My power team HS, IH, IC, James, John, Camille, Lakshmi, Ganesh, Wonder Woman. Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mother Mary, Kuan Yin, Babaji, Paramahansa Yogananda, Bodhisattvas, Ascended Masters, Krishnamurti, Osho, Ammachi, Guruji. All the big and little creatures of the earth.

Bless you. Love you all.

Happiness

Ammy chewing snake


Ammy resting after chewing snake


Ammy and Ammy daddy in the yard


Ammy looking for gray car bringing roasted chicken

It's coming!!!

Thanksgiving lessons from my nephews

At the zoo, don't cry. Tell the lions they're beautiful.


Try looking at things a little differently.


Smile. The ducks are the best. And grandma too.


At home, put on some baggy clothes. Relax, don't call the PETA people, smile again. Make more good energy for the lions. Get ready for bed.

Night night!

Stefania Supermom

Lots of green books

Here are the fruits of my latest library trip. Of course the broken copy machine was fixed, which left me grieving over a new dilemma. Either drop $250 on a U of M library card, or spend a couple thousand dollars on photocopies in the coming months. So of course I bought the card, which still leaves me with the problem of journals (which can't be borrowed) and e-journals, to which they will not give me access for any amount of money (short of tuition). So much for inter-institutional collaboration. Stanford did better than that. In any case, this also means that my library routine now consists of making repeated trips from the stacks to the trunk of my car with a loaded backpack and one of those old lady shopping carts filled with books.

Next time I'll post a picture of my new biceps.

Current developments: scouting out new coffee shops, underlining, having weird dreams, practicing hypnotherapy, bonding ever so deeply with the cat.



Favorite topic of the week: the Treason Trials of 1794.

Favorite academic activity: underlining.


xoxoxo

I miei due amori

Sono bellissimi!!!

La settimana scorsa, Cris e i bambini son venuti a trovarci. Qualche giorno fa mi hanno raggiunto in un coffee shop a Royal Oak e abbiamo fatto una bella passeggiata al sole, su e giu' per i negozi. Prima di rientrare a casa ci siamo fermati in libreria, nella sezione bambini, dove Adrian ha trovato un tavolo con trenini e piste di legno, e si e' divertito a fare "chugga chugga chuf chuf" mentre Lucas leggeva libri con la mamma.

Adrian ha 16 mesi e ormai non lo ferma piu' nessuno. Corre da tutte le parti, infila le dita e schiaccia bottoni ovunque, si arrampica sulle sedie e i tavoli, e sbatte la testa almeno una volta al giorno. I suoi cibi preferiti sono pollo, avocado, waffles e mele, che chiede spesso col suono di "aaah-ppoh, aah-ppoh." Parla in continuazione e passa da richieste ed espressioni intellegibili a sfilze di "ticchi ticchi broom broom ecc ecc". Gli piace far cadere i giocattoli, uno alla volta, e dire "oh oh" con la mano alla bocca e lo sguardo divertito. Quando vede qualcosa di nuovo, colorato, interessante, spalanca gli occhi grandi grandi e dice "wow!" Si rifiuta di stare nel passeggino, e preferisce camminare da solo mentre raccoglie bastoni e infila le mani nelle aiuole. Da poco ha iniziato a fare amicizia con gli estranei, che ferma volentieri per strada e con cui si trattiene a fare discorsi importanti. Adora Topolino, Barney e, piu' di ogni altra cosa al mondo, Thomas the Train. Gli piace giocare nella vasca da bagno e piange quando lo tiri fuori. Dorme a faccia in giu', con le ginocchia piegate e il sedere all'aria. Si sveglia tutti i giorni alle 4 del mattino, ora in cui Cristina e' costretta a iniziare la giornata.

Lucas e' molto socievole e ama avere attenzioni continue. Adora le filastrocche e i rumori strani, buffi, improvvisi. Le sue canzoni preferite sono quelle che gli canta la nonna: "batti manine che viene papa'" "she'll be coming around the mountain" e "two four six eight..." E ogni volta ride come un matto. Gli piace essere trascinato per le braccia o i piedi in giro per casa, giocare col papa' e farsi coccolare dalla nonna, di cui e' follemente innamorato. Per ora dice "mamma," "dada" e "hi dada" e altre sillabe varie, ma capisce molto di piu'. Se gli dici "show me your eyes, ears, nose, mouth..." te li indica toccandosi la faccia con le dita. Capisce "gimmi five" e ti sbatte la mano ridendo ogni volta che lo chiedi. Gli piace anche farsi dire "blow your nose" e si diverte a soffiarsi il naso nella mano per avere l'attenzione di chi gli e' attorno. Altre attivita' preferite: giocare nella vasca da bagno col fratello, e andare in altalena al parco, dove la mamma lo porta spesso.

Ma chi e' questa?

Dedicata a tutti i fans (troppi da enumerare)

Ann Arbor

I am enjoying campus life again, getting lost in the library stacks, walking up and down the stairs with large piles of books, taking pictures of trees, sitting in coffee shops half the day, making photocopies the other half, walking, walking, walking everywhere. Last week I found a copy machine giving out freebies and felt like I won the lottery. I copied for three days straight with my card balance frozen at $7.90.

Oh how good it gets.

If you're wondering what I'm working on, the abridged version is "late eighteenth-century British language theory and culture." The real version is I go through hundreds of journal articles with alternately brain-numbing and sexy titles like "Squirrell's in the Breeches: Onanism, Diarrhea, and the Aesthetics of Antipanaceatic Discourse," and try to figure out if there's anything useful in there. If you think I made that title up, you can go to Google Scholar and see with your own eyes.

Still, I'm not minding this eighteenth-century business after all, and thinking chapter one will be writing itself soon.

Something's reminding me, at every turn: intention creates the world. In the beginning was the word, and the word creates the world. So I am watching, stalking the words, the signs - inventing, creating with conscious intention, complete suspension of disbelief. And synchronicities are saying yes yes yes yes yes!

Can you believe it's snowing today??

Love and blessings to you all

Michigan trees and things

I am unusually productive here. In less than a week I've gone through a month's worth of to-do lists and old unattended business, errands and emails. I also set up a workspace, signed up at the gym, got in touch with old friends and professors, drove to Chicago and back, saw three movies, and worked on my relationship with the cat.

My mom's cat and I are on the rocks. She's taken to hissing and swatting at me at random times, which scares the hell out of me. I normally blame the humans involved (bad energy fields and things), but this whole "walk silently on your toes and pet her only in this precise exact scientifically correct way" is a bit much. Things are slowly improving between us, thanks to a lot of catnip, treats and rubber-band flinging around the house -- rather painful at first, since it took me a lot of tries to figure out how to not snap them in my own face. Yes, that was not funny! She hasn't come around fully, but she's accepting the bribes and hissing less, which I'll take to mean that we're on the right track.

Stefania is now officially my "dissertation coach" (I am going to launch this as a new professional title, not to be confused with "dissertation advisor") and has vowed to kick my ass or else. She just put me on a 50-page/month plan, which is insane, but she won't take no for an answer. Dr. Phil is nothing, believe me.

Good things about Michigan: cheap gas, wide parking spaces, free wifi at the gym cafe. Pains in the ass: need to get snow tires and a car port.

My movie recommendations: The Science of Sleep, The Last Kiss, Little Miss Sunshine.

My little bums at the park

Leaving and getting here

Most of you know I've arrived, and how I tell the story. And if you haven't heard it yet, it goes something like this. On October 8th 2006 I set out on this trip, one foot forward, the other one kicking and screaming. I've known this was the thing to do, but like all the big moves of my life, my heart takes them divided. Leaving the things I love because the path is calling, and this magical heartbreak moves things, with invisible hands, just where they need to go.

I took to the big open road, one interminable stretch of highway, Bay Bridge to Chicago. Ammy was watching at the window. Then three days of driving, beautiful and crazy. The first day through California and Nevada sunshine, gorgeousness of water, mountains, desert, textures, layers, colors. Then Utah, Wyoming... and there it was black sky, rain, hail and snow all the way through to Chicago. And the things I saw... enough to laugh and cry and pee your pants all at once.

The leaves in Michigan are just starting to change colors. Yellow, orange, brilliant red - a kind of red I had forgotten, brighter than fire, sparkling. Even the urban landscape has a spaciousness I had forgotten.

Something about this place grounds me. Enough of me, I think, for what needs doing. I'll tell you the rest along the way.

Here's to my lovey